'I'm so tired of extroversion being the ideal and introversion being so misunderstood': Boss forces introverted employee to spend their lunch break at communal table instead of reading quietly

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jul 9, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

Does the workplace reward introverts or extraverts? 

We all have different preferences and different ways of expressing ourselves in the workplace. Some folks are social butterflies, hopping around to different workstations and making sure everyone is having a good time. Others prefer to keep to themselves and work independently. Both are valid dispositions, and should be given the space to be who they are. Nothing is more exhausting than pretending you're a different kind of person than you really are. You want to be able to be your full self at the workplace. It can help you be as useful as you can. Nobody is going to be good at their job while pretending to be somebody else. The best managers know how to use their employees' assets to their advantage and to adapt to different working styles. Not everyone is going to be the chatty Cathy in the office. Some people need time to themselves, especially on their lunch break. That's your time for you to use as you wish. Maybe you need a little bit of decompression time before you dive right back into the workflow. This is natural. And some people are fully unable to decompress around other people. You need your alone time, and nothing will substitute that. Your manager might think you're being antisocial, when really you're conserving your battery so you can be better at your job. 

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  • Cheezburger Image 10645646592
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    A group of employees eat lunch together on their lunch break

    Subjects are models.

  • I'd love to spend my break alone in some peace and quiet but my boss can't stand it.

    Been working at my company for 4 months and it's hard to get used to. I used to work for a company where everyone minds their own business. It was a bit more cold and corporate, which has its downsides, but I loved going to work and being social only when I felt like it. Everyone was like that. If I spoke to someone and they weren't in the mood, I wouldn't mind either. I'd give them space.
    via Loriol_13
  • As you can tell, I'm introverted. Supposedly I have Asperger's as well, but I'm not sure. I have a clinical diagnosis but the assessment didn't feel very thorough. Anyway, I need to socially recharge often and I can't really force myself to socialise. I can mask to an extent, but I'm not amazing at it.
    via Loriol_13
  • During my interview with this new company I asked what the people are like and the Chief Operations Officer told me that they employ both introverts and extroverts and they don't judge, and I found that promising. I would've still accepted the job because I'd been desperately looking for 10 months, mind you.
    via Loriol_13
  • When I started out, I masked like my life depended on it to make a good impression. For a week or two, I was starting conversations, joining at the table every single day, being reciprocal during conversations... the works. Then I felt that everyone knew I didn't dislike them and I could start easing up on that and focus my mental energy on work instead. Work was getting harder too, so it made sense.
    via Loriol_13
  • I started going on walks at first because thankfully no one liked leaving the building during break. Sometimes I pretended I needed to go buy something from the local shops and would even ask if anyone wanted anything while I'm out. I'd take my time and spend longer than needed, then a long bathroom break and some fresh air in the balcony when back and
    via Loriol_13
  • that's already like 75% of the break gone. I'd bring a book with me and make it clear beforehand that I love this book and can't wait to read it on the balcony during my break so they think it's that I love the book so much not that I find them draining. You get the gist.
    via Loriol_13
  • My manager picked up on this and wasn't having it. I worked with her before and we're kinda close and it worked against me cause she knows how I am. We've had multiple conversations in our one-to-ones where she's just not budging on this. Our department is very close-knit and extroverted. Everyone knows what everyone else is doing and going through in their personal life and stuff like that, and I'm not the type to care what others are doing and hope no one asks me.
    via Loriol_13
  • I spend about two weeks at the kitchen table during my breaks and then think to myself, "Surely, she must approve of me taking a break and doing what comes natural to me and have a peaceful break on my own for a day or three now right?" Wrong. After two days spending my breaks actually replenishing my energy, she asks me loudly in front of everyone, "You're joining at the table during break right?" And I can't say no.
    via Loriol_13
  • I'm so tired of extroversion being the ideal and introversion being so misunderstood and not tolerated in this company. It's like I'm doing something wrong for wanting peace and quiet at least 1 hour in between 8 hours of them talking and laughing constantly. Adjacent to our side of the office is the Finance
    via Loriol_13
  • department and those guys are so quiet. I look at them thinking why my team cannot be like that. Let me be myself and let me do what comes naturally to me, and let me focus on the actual work rather than draining me of my energy with this useless and loud table talk. Let me be myself. PLEASE.
    via Loriol_13

  • The employee in this story was an introvert and had the needs of an introverted person. They tried to express that again and again to the people in their workplace, but no answer that they gave them seemed good enough. Their boss wanted them to be a different kind of person entirely than who they really were. This is a surefire recipe for burnout, and should be avoided at all costs. This manager, though, didn't quite understand that, and put their employee in a difficult situation because of it. Keep scrolling to read the full story here and then let us know in the comments what you thought about it.

  • Cheezburger Image 10645647104
    via Chetan Hireholi

    An employee sits at a table alone on their lunch break

    Subjects are models.

  • Unhappy_Energy_741 You can most definitely say no.
    via Loriol_13
  • GangStalkingTheory You can absolutely say no. Your break is your time. Your boss is an extrovert control freak. Be polite but assert yourself. Remain firm if your boss pushes back.
    via Loriol_13
  • If you don't nip this in the bud now, your boss will trample you. Also, despite being around a bunch of extroverts, you don't have to share anything with them about your personal life. Even if the question is coming from your boss.
    via Loriol_13
  • whateverisstupid Her doing this is it's obvious she doesn't actually care for introverted people if she acts like this. Next time if she asks if you are joining the table, you have every right to say "no thanks, I'm gonna enjoy the fresh air for my break" there is nothing wrong with someone wanting to enjoy nature and relaxing.
    via Loriol_13
  • Rambler330 If she is requiring you to take your breaks with the team than they are. No longer breaks and you need to be paid for them.
    via Loriol_13
  • isabellus_rex Can you tell them "I'll join you in a bit!" And then hang out w them for the last 5-10 min? If they're not happy with that,
    via Loriol_13
  • tehfly I also use my lunch breaks to recover a bit. Some of my colleagues like to eat in the cafeteria on the bottom floor and have asked me to join numerous times. I started telling them I need a bit of a change in scenery and a breather.
    via Loriol_13
  • They've stopped asking me now and just accept that I have my lunches alone, without any other visible impact on office culture.
    via Loriol_13
  • bonsoir_friend Stop making excuses to them because neurotypical people see that as "finding reasons to avoid them". Just be honest: "You all are great company, but I'm an introvert so sometimes I need to take my breaks alone to recharge. Alone time helps me take care of what my body and mind need so that I can be/do my best at work here"
    via Loriol_13
  • Or have a sit down with your boss (or if necessary with your boss and hr). You don't have to overly explain yourself or give too much personal information to them. This honestly shouldn't even be an issue and it's not right for your boss to make it one. Who
    via Loriol_13
  • knows, maybe you're not the only one who doesn't want to sit at the table at lunch but peer pressure and unspoken expectations rule the team. Good luck!
    via Loriol_13
  • MrSlime13 I'd hazard to say, you've probably done the smart thing already by befriending your co-workers off the bat, so your boss can't sow these seeds of distrust among them that you're "unfriendly", rather than "introverted". And, medical
    via Loriol_13
  • diagnoses aside, I'm sure most people are aware of different people's personalities, and being introverted, or "quiet", vs. talkative and social. Being talkative and outgoing is kind of overrated, and people who work with each other every day realize that.
    via Loriol_13

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